People I hate: Stephenie Meyer, author of Twilight

I know it's cool to hate on Twilight, but to be honest, I didn't really hate it. Objectively it is a bad book, nobody can deny that. Its riddled with Mary Sues and Gary Stus, the vampiric rules are ridiculous, the plot is fairly non-existent, the characters tend to come off as the opposite of what Meyer intended, and it's riddled with unfortunate implications.

However, Twilight is, admittedly, an entertaining read. (Not so much an entertaining movie.) Somehow, Meyer managed to make it work, and I'll give her that much.

No, whom I really hate is Stephenie Meyer.

It's no secret Bella looks like her. Meyer has stated her opinion that she feels Bella is just like all teenage girls.

Meyer expected to get full control over casting. At least she didn't throw a fit when she didn't get her way. Unlike when her book, Twilight from Edward's view, was leaked part-way through writing. She threw the biggest temper tantrum I've seen, and said she was not going to write the book. I've always suspected she would pick it up again after the movies. Outside of the Midnight Sun fit, Meyer has been quite horrible to her fans.

Finally, when I look at the 'big three' authors out there, Smeyer is the one with the most houses, and the least money donated to charity. This isn't a reason to hate her, but it is something I felt was worth pointing out.

Meyer liked to misuse words to make herself seem smarter, something she has become infamous for. There is something else about Meyer that people rarely talk about: her most interesting characters are the side characters.

Rosalie was raped on her wedding night, and after getting turned into a vampire she went on a roaring rampage of revenge. Alice got stuck in a mental hospital for years. Leah is the only female werewolf. Emily, the pack leader's wife, is implied to have a very conflicted emotional state.

But we're stuck with bland and angst.

Now, I want to discuss unfortunate implications in her work.

Feminism: I don't mind having a character or two be submissive, or feminine. Portraying isn't the same as advocating. However, to see how Meyer feels about women's role in life, look no further than Leah. Leah is the ONLY female werewolf. She is barren, and this is treated as the worst thing possible. She is also treated as a total bitch for being unhappy her ex-boyfriend left her for no reason, and now she's stuck around him.

Relationships:

Oh my God, where to start.

Edward is a stalker. I know this isn't a new argument. Just look at Midnight Sun--Twilight from his point of view--and you'll find out he actually oiled her window to make it not creak when he came in. This was alluded to in Twilight, where she mentions it's odd that sound isn't made anymore, but it is made much more explicit in Midnight Sun. He is also controlling. In Eclipse, he literally takes her engine out of her car so she can't go visit her friends.

Bella is throwing her entire life away for a guy. This is lampshaded frequently, but usually brushed off as: "Whatever. They just DON'T UNDERSTAND US."

When it comes to the other side of the 'love triangle' Jacob was at least willing to accept no. Well, until Eclipse, when he forces himself upon her.

Now that I've talked about Jacob, I have to mention the idea of imprinting. Now, again, I'm not going to talk too much about the pedophilia aspect. Instead, what I want to talk about is the pack leader and his wife. The pack leader imprints on his wife, and leaves Leah. The wife pretty much had no choice in the relationship, which is compounded when she gets horrifically scarred when he transforms in front of her--which, in a more deliberate author's book, could very well have been a metaphor for abuse. It's clear she feels too ugly to leave him, even if she wanted to. She exudes sadness in every scene she's in. But she's quickly brushed aside, and forgotten about.

I don't mind her religious beliefs creeping into her work; it happens to the best of writers, even if the birth scene in Breaking Dawn seems horrifically out-of-place.

Ok, so I've dissected Twilight. I like to think I have actually added something to the conversation. Let me just finish some points, using The Host as reference material.

Meyer creates a rather interesting idea, but refuses to think it through. Two characters in one body, one being an alien, the other struggling not to fade away. The borderline-apocalypse always appeals to me. Meyer tried to market it as: "Science fiction for people who don't like science fiction." Fair enough, when you consider those who like science fiction wouldn't like this book.

The biggest piece of unfortunate implications here adds onto the relationships part of Twilight. Wanda, the alien, was abused by the guy she ends up with by the end of the book. We are expected to brush that off, like most of the unfortunate implications. Why?

TRU WUV

Explaining Tropes: Mary Sue/Gary Stu

A Mary/Gary Sue is a difficult term to define, and the term is frequently misused. The line between interesting and a sue can be a matter of opinion, something writers are painfully aware of.

There are traits that commonly show up, but are neither the immediate indicator of a sue, nor universal with them.

For example:

• Being beautiful
• Having a hard life (usually to a very exaggerated degree)
• Their look may be unrealistic considering their habits (for example, a healthy-looking anorexic)
• Characters look like a celebrity, or the author
• Unnatural hair or eye color
• A hybrid of more than two species (like half vampire, half werewolf, half human)
• Weaknesses or faults like 'clumsy' or being 'passionate.' 

There's two major indicators of a Mary Sue: How the author treats them, and how the other characters treat them. The author might be incredibly close to or defensive of their character. Any criticism is met with hostility, as if you were insulting the author themselves. Sharing traits with the author, like looks or even their name, is a nearly universal indicator. 

Inside the universe, there are two things to consider: Is the character exempt to the rules of the universe? (For example, Bella getting pregnant by Edward, despite it being explicitly explained that vampires can't reproduce.) Do characters fall over themselves for the character, despite the character's actual quality, or their original temperament? (Like Bella's circle of friends, and Edward's being taken with her despite being a loner his entire life, and how the vampire leaders are willing to break the rules for her.) 

With Sues/Stus there is usually a lack of balance within the character. They are treated as the most awesomest thing that ever existed. They are gorgeous, strong, and loved by everyone. But weaknesses? Faults? Bah! Sometimes writers will attempt to throw us a bone by giving a fault that is considered very minor, but it can't even  begin to balance out their virtues. 

Finally, Sues/Stus will never see consequences for their actions, and if they do, everyone is being 'incredibly unfair' and we are clearly meant to pity the character. 

I want to stress that Sues/Stus are not characters you dislike. For example, Ginny Weasley is liked by most of the fandom, but it cannot be denied she is a sue; she is great at magic, she escapes the second book completely unscathed and with nobody even remotely upset with her, and she ends up with Harry Potter. It is all about how they are treated by the author, and the other characters in the work. 

Things I Hate: Laugh Tracks

I can't stand TV shows with laugh tracks.

Sure, I used to watch a lot of them. I grew up on the Disney Channel, after all. As I grew older, something about the laugh tracks began to rub me the wrong way. Each pre-recorded laugh grated on my brain, until I began to boycott all TV shows with laugh tracks.

Due to my penchant for self-analysis, I began to dig into myself to try and determine why they bothered me so much.

The history of laugh tracks started with an attempt to force people to think an unfunny radio play was funny. Then, it was added to stabilize differences between laughter in studio audiences in multi-camera sitcoms.

Then, it was to cover up the fact that they stopped using a studio audience. That's all well and good, or at least expected.

But I don't feel they have a place in the modern world of television. Now, they're both condescending and awkward, for one thing. When they're used now, completely without the help of a studio audience, I feel like the writers are screaming: THIS IS FUNNY BELIEVE ME IT IS FUNNY LOOK HOW FUNNY I AM HAHAHAHA.

And when it actually isn't funny? It's incredibly awkward. It's like crickets, but with laughs.

Funnily enough, I seem to be in the major minority in this opinion. Scientists actually found that laugh tracks make things funnier. We succum to peer pressure, as a species. Personally, I was always the outcast, so peer pressure wasn't really a thing for me, as I didn't have peers. Perhaps that's why I find laugh tracks grating rather than inducing an urge to conform.

This study suggests laugh tracks aren't going to go away, and I am probably the only one who boycotts shows that use laugh tracks. Bummer.

Netflix Original Series Round-Up: Orange is the New Black

Let's talk about something I know nothing about: Women's prisons.

I've never even seen the outside of a real prison. I don't even know what the inside would look like. So I can't comment much on that.

My town was largely homogenous, meaning we had two black kids and three hispanics in the entire school. So I can't comment on race relations.

You know what I can comment about?

Lesbians. It may not surprise anyone to hear I'm a lesbian. I considered bringing it up several reviews ago, when I was reviewing Emily Owens, MD. I decided my comment about how touching that scene was could stand without that knowledge, but my review of this show couldn't.

Because the sheer amount of gay in this show can be overwhelming, and to be honest, it's the only part of the show I can truly relate to.

Netflix's Original TV shows seem to be taking on a pattern, and it's one I really hoped they would; They won't shy away from issues, their characters are largely gray when it comes to morals, rather than being good or bad, and the tv shows are (generally) quite smart.

One thing my doctor said, when I mentioned to her I didn't really like guys, was: Sexuality is a spectrum. People think you're either on one side, or another, but really, it's like a scale, where one side is women, and the other is men, and you're somewhere in-between.

This show is the first one I've seen willing to portray homosexuality like this. The main character even talks about it the same way, though she gets teased for 'not being gay' anymore. At least one other person in a lesbian relationship seems to have turned to it not really because she's more into girls than guys, but because she's lonely.

However, it's not afraid to shy away from homophobia. Despite being a lesbian, I'll admit, I haven't truly  seen homophobia. I mean, when I came out, nobody was surprised. My last boyfriend was pretty much a girl (I'm sorry, you know who you are). I'm fairly masculine, and I approach gender roles like a guy. I was often told I probably was just dressing like a girl.

I'm not saying this is how all lesbians are: the show presents quite the range of them, from lesbian as a personality trait (the butch one), to lesbian only being incidental to her personality (the ex-girlfriend.)

In fact, since I came out, I've only had one direct experience with homophobia.

Coworker: So, are you dating anyone?
Me: No, I'm kinda taking time to sort myself out.
Coworker: Your last boyfriend sucked, huh?
Me: You have no idea. He cheated on me. With a guy.
Coworker: My ex-boyfriend wanted me to have a threesome with another guy. I broke up with him right then and there. Gay people are disgusting. There's nowhere in the bible where a man and a man are together, you know? (puts dish cloth away.) Hey, will you make me a sandwich?
Me: (snaps) So long as you don't mind it being touched by a lesbian.
Coworker: ...
Me: ...

After making her sandwich, I apologized, and explained she had no way to know that would offend me, and I had given every indication I was straight, and she apologized for offending me.

Yeah, that's earth-shattering stuff right there.

The fact is, lesbians aren't nearly as hated as male homosexuals. The show called "What Would You Do" proved this, by noting almost nobody caused a scene when two girls were kissing in public, but two boys kissing frequently got confronted, and even had the police called on them.

It gets to the point where I sometimes forget that people might be upset when they hear I'm gay. After all, girl on girl is hot, right?

This show reminded me that I really shouldn't start dying my hair rainbow yet, with two characters: The warden and Sandusky.

The warden gets disgusted when he hears Piper supposedly requested a specific bunking partner. When he hears she didn't, and she didn't like the advances of another girl, the warden makes it clear he doesn't like lesbians, and Piper decides not to bring her sexuality up. He starts acting rather pervy towards her.

Sandusky is an evangelical druggie, since being mistaken for a Christian political protester. Sandusky eventually realizes Piper is gay, and goes to the warden, saying she caught Piper having sex with another girl in the bathroom.

The warden decides to put Piper in solitary for 'lewd behavior' (he caught her dancing). Everyone points out he can't do that, and eventually he relents, but it's too late for her to meet her fiance for the holiday.

Piper snaps at him, and reveals she's gay. I will not spoil the finale, but let's just say this moment leads to the climax.

There are two other major stories going on, which I can't comment on too much from experience, but I will say they were touching, and I enjoyed watching them.

An emotionally abused girl gets involved with one of the nicer guards, eventually getting pregnant by him. She decides to coerce another guard into having sex with her, and tell everyone he raped her, which doesn't please the nicer guard at all. (It leads to a rather funny episode, where the second guard lets the first one know he's 'really tall'.)

And, a guard and the cook (named Red) clash, leading to the death of a character, and the fallout from it.

This is not an easy show to watch. It's not a light show, either. It can be pretty funny at times, which eases the harsh realities it presents. But I think everyone should watch it. If not the entire one, at least the episode where everyone convinces Sandusky she can heal people, until she tries to heal a girl in a wheelchair, and gets sent to the mental ward.

America's Next Top Model: A Redaction

In my last review of ANTM  I gave it a rating of 'meh.' Or, a guilty pleasure. Basically, watching it wouldn't change your life one way or another.

But ANTM finally lost me. How? Flixels.

Between being turned into a serial killer by video games, and being brainwashed by TV, I am a photographer. 

This is one of my photographs.

I've worked with models before.

I've even sold several of my photographs.

So I can comfortably say I am fairly familiar with the 'art' side of ANTM. I'm not going to claim that ANTM is one of the highest art forms out there. It's not. It's a reality TV show that is increasingly being taken over by Tyra Bank's ego. 

So, when I say 'flixels' are tacky, and they piss me off, I'd like to pretend I have some credibility on the subject. For those of you who don't follow my links--I don't blame you--a flixel is basically a gif. Part of the image moves. The rest doesn't. It was previously known to the world as a cinemagraph. I think a flixel is in the right direction for a cinemagraph. The flixels I saw were much stabler than any cinemagraph I've seen, and though a cinemagraph and a flixel are basically the same thing, I don't have nearly as much vitriol towards a cinemagraph as I do a flixel.

I'm not going to analyze why. I have to give my therapist something to talk about. 

But, my rage over the fact that every photo shoot the models do is going to be flixels quickly turned into musings. 

When did ANTM jump the proverbial shark? I feel it's happened, but I don't feel flixels were that point. Was it when Tyra tried to use it to launch her music career? Was it the season focused less on modeling, and more on making a 'celebrity?' Was it the fact that Tyra is the only judge to survive all 20 seasons? Was it the fact that there have been 20 seasons? Was it the 'british invasion' season, where America's next top model very loosely interpreted 'America?' Was it the not one, but two contestants that disappeared from the show for no clear reason? Was it the fact that Tyra has now picked up so many jobs it really should be renamed Tyra: supermodel/judge/stylist/singer/dancer/linguist/mentor/photographer? Was it when she started making up her own words?

I don't know. I've tolerated all of it, so I guess I have no room to judge. One thing that has disappointed me about America's Next Top Model is its decision to throw away the art in favor of drama. The enforced drama was always there; The militant Atheist and Christian in season one were likely chosen equally for skill and their likelihood of clashing. Once Sharon flipped out over the nude shoot, they made it a staple of the seasons until the girls stopped being bothered by it. Usually, there was one less bed than the initial group, to create a fight over who was going to double-up, or sleep on the couch or floor. The makeovers have always created a lot of drama, to the point where they pretended they were just done dealing with it, by giving an opportunity to add more drama by telling girls they can refuse the makeovers.

Then punishing them for it. Though I do admit, because the makeovers are done every season, they should know it's coming, and just suck it up.

I also always found it suspicious that, in the top four girls, if not the top three, there was always the one that everyone hated. The one that clashed the most with the group. I won't deny some of them had the skill to stay, but I will suggest they stayed for more than one reason. 

I was subconsciously aware that, to a degree, the show was carefully edited and scripted. The girls all scream when they see Tyra. They all piss themselves over Tyra mail. Several girls have come out suggesting they were edited into personalities they didn't have. They adopt Tyra's words and bend over backwards to feed her ego. And the girls who don't are quickly eliminated. 

The fact is, America's Next Top Model has been struggling to control itself for some time. It has to maintain Tyra's ego (I cannot stress her ego enough), recruit and support models who will have careers, be entertaining as a reality tv show, handle the people well, and keep itself interesting enough to maintain itself over twenty seasons. 

It has done most of these things well up until this point. Tyra gets to do pretty much anything she wants, though she usually limits herself to one or two episodes where she takes more than one job, and she's balanced out by the two other judges. Most models on ANTM have careers after it, even those who were eliminated early on. Whenever someone out-of-the-ordinary comes around: the two pre-op transsexuals, the multitude of lesbians and (as of season 20, homosexuals), and the girls with clear mental health issues (the bulimic girl, the few anorexics, the Aspie, and the girl with severe co-dependency), or plain health issues (the girl going blind, and the girl with short-term memory loss), the show usually treats them with respect. (The only one I feel was unfairly handled was the girl with Aspergers, who would often get marked down for stuff that was part of the disease, but life isn't fair and I should suck it up.) 

The way it has handled keeping itself interesting is the one it keeps fumbling on. Increasingly, ANTM feels less and less like an introduction to the industry, and more and more like a cruel human experiment.

Especially the runways. The video refers to two crazy ones, but I don't even consider these the worst. The first episode of season 20 has one where the runway is down a building. They have a runway that's done quite high in the air, and they have one in the dark, where they know one of their contestants is borderline-blind. (She said she could see the runway only because of the lights on the edges, but somebody did fall, or more accurately, walk into a wall.)

Some of the non-nude photoshoots also seem designed to break the girls down, or press some buttons. There are two photo-shoots done involving heights: one on the edge of a tower, one where they are lifted into the air. They do a photo-shoot with a spider, and bees. Both times, some girls cried.

So I'm done with America's Next Top Model. Maybe I'll just look for amazing photos on art sites. There will be less egos there. (Ha! Who am I kidding?)